I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

So, I guess I'm feeling either particularly creative or procrastinatory (I don't think that's even word...see, creativity) or inspired this week, but I guess I just felt like writing. So, you lucky people get an overload of blog posts! Yay, for you!

Anyway, just lately, I have found myself surrounded by engagements, and marriages. I love a wedding. I don't know many ladies out there who don't. Maybe its all the fairytales, and later on, rom-coms that we grew up with. Or maybe its just the beauty and excitement of seeing two people commit to loving each other, and serving each other for the rest of their lives.

However, in amongst all of the joy, and there is an overwhelming amount of it, I find myself wondering if it'll ever be me that's walking down the aisle. And, if we're being honest, I don't think I'd be the only one thinking it.

Now, I'm not somebody who feels like they have to be in a relationship to be happy, and fulfilled. If I was, then the last 20 years would have been very miserable. Up until now, I think I have made excuses such as "I'm figuring out who I am", "This is the 21st century", and "I'm a strong, independent, intelligent woman" to justify myself. And, these are true, to an extent. But they just weren't cutting it anymore.

So, I did a little bit of psychoanalysis on myself (not recommended, btw), and had a bit of an epiphany.

These are just that. Excuses. Excuses to hide the fact that, if I'm totally honest, I didn't completely feel like I was worth loving.

Let's not be dramatic, there are people out there with far lower self esteem than myself. I can confidently say that God has given me gifts to use and achieve with. But, I guess, when it comes to relationships, I'm just not an expert.

Then came revelation number two. I am worth loving. I am loved. If the King of the universe can look on me and say, "yeah, I love you, despite all your mess. I'm pursuing you, and sending my son to die for you, just so that I can know you", then I am definitely worth loving.

For He made me, and He made me beautiful. Psalm 139, which I don't think I fully grasped until now, reads

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:14)

I am a creation of the most incredible artist out there. I am worthy of love. I don't know when it will turn up, maybe 10 years down the line, or maybe just around the corner. But He made me worthy, and so I will wait until He decides to place whoever that may be into my life.

I'd also like to say that all you beautiful ladies out there (even those of you who don't believe it), and gents come to think of it. Yes, you. You're worthy too. The King of kings created you in his image. He loves you more than you can imagine.  Even if you don't believe in what I do, you are worth so much more than people might lead you to believe. So, stop hiding behind those excuses, and hiding from people, or settling for second best. Start believing it, and walking confidently in it, and treating yourself with the respect you deserve.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made - don't ever forget that.