I’d like to take a minute to talk about gender inequality.
Because, no matter what you claim, men and women are not equal in our world
today; and that is not okay.
Firstly, women are not objects, contrary to what we see on
our TV screens, films, magazines, and not forgetting music videos. Ladies are
reduced down to their body shape, as scantily clad women cover our media (sex
sells, after all). In fact, these images are usually photo-shopped; the ‘ideal’
that we are fed isn’t even real. My question to you is ‘Why?’ What exactly is
wrong with celebrating each and every beautiful woman exactly as they are? It seems
crazy that women are given this entirely made up guide to how they should dress
and look, and that men are taught that this is what is beautiful. This leads to
all kinds of psychological problems, bullying, pressure, and a distorted view
of ourselves and our value. Ladies – you are beautiful, just as you are. Fact.
Secondly, I’d like to turn to the role women take in
society. I believe (and please do correct me if I’m wrong), that there are
fewer women than men in high positions in politics, science, and business, to
name a few important sectors. This isn’t a problem in and of itself, but I do
think we need to look at why this might be. Are women being discriminated
against in the application process? I am frustrated at reading news articles
about women, who instead of simply being known by name, are referred to as “X’s
wife” or “mother of three”. It irritates me that a lot of material from female
comedians seems to draw on the “blonde bimbo” stereotype, or relates to sex (we
have brains as well, you know). Song lyrics often portray women as things to be
won, and don’t even get me started on FGM and sex trafficking. In some
countries, girls still do not have access to education and are forced to marry
as soon as they hit puberty, before their bodies can even handle pregnancy.
This is not okay.
I am beeped at as I walk down the street, and I constantly
overhear snippets of laddish ‘banter’, if you like, which is degrading and
insulting. Rape jokes are not funny, and “you’re such a girl” is not a
legitimate insult. It isn’t okay that I don’t always feel safe walking home at
night by myself, because I’m female; it definitely isn’t okay that we’re still
talking about what the victim was wearing. And, by the way, if I choose to have
a career, and not to have children (or to have a career and to have children
for that matter), that is my choice, and I don’t think I should have to justify
it.
However, I think it’s also important to see the other side. In
light of this, I would like to apologise, because men have it hard too, and at
the minute, I don’t think it’s noticed enough.
I’m sorry that we objectify you in much the same way as some
of you do to us. I will admit that I have referred to celebrities as “hot”, and
sometimes vocalised it because I can get away with it. We obsess over and idolise TV stars
and musicians over social networking sites (tumblr, anyone?). Our magazines are
covered with pictures of (often topless and, once again, photo-shopped) men. I’m
sorry that we build up this idea of our “perfect guy”, which gives you such a
high standard to live up to. We don’t see you, just as you are, and all the
amazing qualities that you bring. How is this any better?
To be male is often seen as to be tough. To be strong. Culture
puts so much pressure on you to ‘man up’, that, I would imagine, anything less
feels like you’ve come up short. It makes me angry that men feel so much shame
in reporting domestic violence or rape, and that there is so much stigma
surrounding eating disorders in men. I’m sorry that our society has made it so
hard for you to ask for help and express your emotions, especially in such
important scenarios.
It’s wrong that there is so much pressure on men to be
sexually active from a young age, in particular through pornography. The
statistics of teenagers viewing porn is shocking. If this is what men are
brought up on, then how on earth can we expect them to treat women any
differently to what they are seeing here? Why are we surprised when we find men
imitating that which they’ve grown up viewing?
I’m sorry that I am not even aware of enough material to
apologise for to write a balanced letter.
I’m sorry that we’ve tarred you all with the same brush.
I have made some sweeping generalisations here, and I
realise that I have barely scratched the surface when it comes to gender and
identity. But I just wanted to draw attention to how we, as men and women,
treat each other. It shouldn’t be one rule for us, another for them!
It’s time we learnt to respect each other. And I mean,
really respect each other, as individuals and not as objects. To speak to, and
about, each other as we would like to be spoken about. To honour each other in
every sphere of our lives, from work through to relationships. It’s not
complicated, but to ingrain this into the very fabric of our being is a huge
task. It will take time, and I for one will get it wrong sometimes – bear with
me, I’m trying!
This is just my opinion – where do you stand?
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